Communication — with the right people

Brenda Cannon HenleyBy Brenda Cannon Henley
This is not a communication column, nor an etiquette column. It is not part of a driver education course or a safety tip. It is not even an advice column, but four instances in three days make me think it might be an important column for many different age groups. Read it with a grain of salt, or maybe we should make that a grain of sugar. Seems sweeter to me. And it might make the truth go down better for some.

I well remember the day my sweet husband and I decided to drive into Beaumont and eat at Olive Garden. I particularly enjoy their salad and lasagna and I was kind of hankering for that meal, so I suggested it and he agreed. We were enjoying ourselves, eating our food, taking our time, talking, and simply happy to be resting together after an outdoor work project. A family of four walked in and the hostess seated them very near our table. The mother was talking on her cell phone as she entered and a precious little girl and boy came between the woman and the apparent husband. The family was seated and the mother continued her conversation, which seemed to be filled with fun, laughter, giggles from time to time, and many smiles and tosses of her black hair. I did not get the impression that it was a business call or one of an emergency nature. The waitress took their drink orders and then the food choices. All of the time this was being done, the mother remained on her phone completely ignoring the pleas of first the little girl and then the little boy.

While they waited for the food to arrive, the father also took out his cell phone and entertained himself with looking at messages or the Internet or whatever was on the screen. Not once to our knowledge did either parent direct one word of conversation to either child. I couldn’t help but watch. I was intrigued. The father put his phone up when his meal arrived and he did seem to look to make sure the children were starting to eat their food. The mother, however, continued with a live conversation and as we finished our meal, paid for our food, and got up to leave, she was still on the phone, laughing and smiling. I couldn’t believe it.

Two days later, I was in a pizza restaurant writing a review and noticed the young father next to our table. He came in with his iPhone in his hand, filled his plate, and that of two small children, a little girl about four and a tiny little fellow not two years old. Each child was given a plate with two slices of pizza, and they ate heartedly. The father continued to play with, stare it, and eventually talk on his phone while at the table. I never saw him speak to either child. He returned to the buffet line and fill his plate several times, and each time, the phone was in his hand and he was walking along reading from the screen.

The little boy apparently got tired of waiting for something to entertain him and he climbed out of his chair and began to run around the restaurant among strangers. He came by his dad’s table from time to time, but did not stop nor was he asked to sit down. A loud noise erupted from behind us and in a few moments, a man who had also been eating in the restaurant came up to the counter with the little boy in his arms. The child had fallen and bumped his head on a table leg. The man asked an employee if she knew who the child belonged to just as the tot pointed to his dad, who was, you guessed it, still on his phone. The stranger sat the child in the empty chair and walked away. As we finished our meal and left, the man was still on the phone and had not seemingly paid the children any attention.

Driving home from this very trip, a young lady sped by our car on I-10 and clearly we could see her cell phone in hand. She was reading the screen and then began texting since her hand starting moving as she passed. Vehicles were zooming by on either side and she was concerned with the conversation she was engrossed in on her phone. I was frightened for her safety as well as that of other motorists on I-10 at the busy time of day.

A fourth experience just pushed me over the edge thinking about this subject. I was in a group of four nice folks, but became appalled when I noticed that all four had a phone in hand and was either reading something on the screen, texting, or making a call.

What has happened to conversation? Where is communication with those who are most important to us? Where has our sense of decency and privacy gone? Who cares about some of the silly seeming conversation going on in these calls? It is evident to anyone with an ounce of common sense that they cannot all be emergency related or even serious for that matter. Where are children to learn manners and good judgment if our parents, older siblings, and even our teachers are so engrossed in senseless communication that they can no longer take time to talk to the boys and girls, carry on meaningful conversation, ask about their days, and learn what is going on in the young lives? How can couples grow a relationship if they are constantly talking on cell phones, communicating with other folks, and making plans for the future when the one they should be working with is sitting across from talking or texting a friend or coworker.

Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate modern communication. I value my cell phone, and in the line of work I have chosen, it is a valuable tool. I use it often, but it is to exchange meaningful information, get an address, verify something I need for a story, or to give instruction to someone doing a job. I pray I keep enough common sense to know when to put it down, when to turn it off, and when to pay attention to those people in my life who deserve my time and attention.

I don’t need to know the details of your private lives. I don’t particularly want to know who John or Julie is dating. I really don’t care about much of the conversation I cannot help but overhear. And, for goodness sake, turn those phones off in public places. I was in a recent church service when two, not one, but two cell phones rang loudly, one playing a popular musical tune. One man wrote about conversation being so loud in a movie theater that he simply gathered up his family and returned to his own home to watch something on television. Folks, let’s use common sense about communication. I believe that will please God and man.
[8-14-2017]

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788, or
[email protected].

Facebook Twitter
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Leave a Reply

Site by CrystalBeachLocalNews.com