By Brenda Cannon Henley
Proverbs is one of my very favorite books of the Holy Bible. I can read it again and again after all these years and still find gems that I had not really looked at carefully in the past. Now, I do not mean to imply that the gems were not in the Scriptures earlier. They were there, all right, but I had just not spent time thinking about them, meditating over their meaning, or applied them directly to my own life. They just seem to pop out as though for the first time, a very bright spotlight began shining on them. Most of the time when this happens, I find I need that particular insight or inspiration, and if I don’t need it at that exact moment, I will in a few days. It still amazes me and I have been a Christian for a very long time now.

“Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee,” found in Proverbs 2:11 is such an example. I have read this short verse many times over, but this week it hit me in the head, if you will, like a sledge hammer. What is “discretion” anyway? I have found that it is a very good word and one that I need often in my busy life.

Interesting what we find when we look the word up in good dictionaries. One writer said that discretion, a noun, from a Latin root word, is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information. “She knew she could rely on his discretion about the family matter.” Synonyms for the word include circumspection, carefulness, caution, wariness, guardedness, tactfulness, diplomacy, delicacy, sensitivity, prudence, and judiciousness. Another writer defines it as choice, option, preference, disposition, volition, liking, wish, inclination, and desire. “His sentence would be determined at the discretion of the court.”

The third description is, the quality of having or showing discernment or good judgment; the quality of being discreet or circumspection. In my study Bible’s very good concordance, there are more than 15 verses having to do with discerning or discernment, and yet, I am not certain I have ever heard a sermon or lesson devoted to the subject. “Whoso keeps the commandments shall feel no evil thing: and a wise man’s heart discerns both time and judgment.” (Ecclesiastes 8:5) If we go back and read the “header” or the introduction to this important book of the Bible, we will find that the entire book is written as an inspired record of the reasoning of a wise man.

A circumstance has presented itself several times in a large group of people for which I act as administrator. It is up to me and to the fellow administrator of the Facebook group to make certain that the people within the group adhere to the rules that were adopted at the founding and to be very careful of issues that attract hate, libel, slander, and in general, bad behavior. I had a telephone call last night while I was cooking dinner and one of my very good administrators, said to me, “Brenda, please read the post made by so and so, and determine what should be done about it. I think it must be removed, but I don’t want to make the call on just my observation.” I did as I was asked and was appalled at the childish behavior so apparent in the post. It was a situation where two businesses offer the same or nearly the same services and this person pushes the envelope in every area of the group. Even if what was said was true, it was not the kind of thing one would want published on Facebook. It was unkind, tacky, and completely without discernment. People in business just don’t act this way even if commissions are involved. Some things are simply much better settled privately and not publicly. And, it brings negative attention to the business represented. “It turns people off immediately,” said my friend who called me. I might add here that I would not want very personal things published in such a venue. While I might feel various emotions at the time, after thinking about the issues for a while, I might change my mind, and how in the world do you undo something that you have posted under your own volition about someone you love or care about?

I think at times the poster needs validation that she is cool, smart, on top of things, and in the know. The language she chooses to use is hip and modern, but not necessarily good for a grown woman with children, or a business professional. The behavior often reminds me of middle school kids acting on the fringe of being adults. I removed the post and will continue to remove those that are damaging not only to our group, but also to the person who does not see the behavior as childish and rude.

The situation caused me to think once again of this word, “discretion.” We should incorporate it into our lives and view our actions and certainly our writings by the standards set forth in the meanings of the word.
[4-11-2016]

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788
[email protected].