By Brenda Cannon Henley
Every single time I write on parenting, parenting skills, lack of those same skills, and hard, fast Biblical rules for parenting children, I get email, notes, and telephone calls. I am either accused of being too hard or too soft, lenient, or too strict, loving or mean to the core. Let me state (I believe this is called a disclaimer) that I was never the perfect parent, nor do I have all the answers. There are times when a child is reared in the very best home environment, abounding in genuine love, good discipline, advantages, and great potential, and that very child goes astray. They bring heartache to the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, and pastoral staff members. There are other boys and girls that seem to come up by the hair of their head and go on to make model citizens, wonderful family members, and sincere contributors to society. It is as though they vow to turn from corrupt and unseemly conduct that they have witnessed in the home.

My friend who went to Heaven this last year had an intense desire to raise chickens in her own yard. She lived in a small Georgia city that had council members and a mayor. They had strict rules for what could be raised inside the city limits, and what could not be. Jackie called one day just as furious as she could be, “You know, it is so strange, they will allow goats in my city, but not chickens. Goats are a lot messier and harder to control.” She pointed out the differences to me very vividly. She was mad. She stated her intention to appear at the next council meeting to make her dissatisfaction known. Jackie happened to live on her dad and mom’s old farm, but it was in the city limits. She had space, beautiful, old shade trees, a little stream, and what seemed to be the perfect environment for the chickens she wanted so badly.

Jackie did have one stipulation that she would stick to until the day she died. She did not want her chickens that she so desired to be raised in traditional coops, although they would have one. She had been reading a lot on safe ways to grow food and small animals and intended to have her little brood just like she wanted them. She wanted free range chickens because she had become convinced that they were healthier, and therefore, safer to eat and share with friends. The best I figured it out was that these chickens could roam wherever they wanted during the day, but when night fell, they would come home to the roost or coop she had built. There they would find straw nests, a clean water supply, and protection against the elements and any predators that might take their lives. She would invest in some chicken feed, but the birds would learn to peck and find natural things to eat. They would never have any antibiotics and other treatment injections.

Jackie died before she got her chickens and I don’t think her city ever changed their ordinances concerning them. Her conversations about the chickens gave me pause to think about another matter that I have come to call the rearing of free range children. In this day and age, we have so many boys and girls who appear to be literally on their own roaming around among the homes of friends, older kids, latching on to caring adults, and just living hand to mouth, one step above being completely homeless. And, what is sad to me, they don’t care. In fact, they brag about their freedom. I have had occasion to speak with teachers, counselors, and several caseworkers, as well as social workers, and church staff members concerning the sheer number of free range children. One young teen, now 16 years old, told me over and over that she had been on her own since she was eleven years old. I found that difficult to believe, but in careful research found that she had been through 13 different guardians or adults charged with her custody.

After several interactions, I understood more why she had been through the 13 different adults. She despised authority, would not listen to reason, is a compulsive liar, and can insert herself into any role she has seen on TV, in a movie, or happened to read. She quit all pretense of school in the ninth grade, had a baby at 15, lost the charge of that infant, and has learned to use her body to get her own willful way. She claims to be pregnant again at 16. The more I learn, the more I found it saddening to my heart.

I plan to continue the free range children thoughts in a future column.
[7-17-2017]

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788, or
[email protected].