Guarding those little grudge books

Brenda Cannon HenleyBy Brenda Cannon HenleyThe last three words of Verse 5 of Chapter 13 in 1 Corinthians are very important to us as we live and work today in this busy world of ours. Genuine love “thinks no evil, or is not ready to accept evil.” So many human beings think evil even at times when there are no real clues or reasons for them to do so. They look at a given situation, problem, person or task and begin to immediately think up evil. I read this verse in several translations of the Scripture and almost every one I found ended with, “takes no account of evil,” “doesn’t brood over wrongs,” “does not impute evil,” “does not take into account a wrong suffered,” “keeps no record of evil,” “doesn’t keep track of wrongs.” As human beings we tend to keep short accounts of our own sins and failures and very long accounts of the misdeeds of others.

BCH_2017-0627-1A good many years ago I was speaking in a women’s conference in another state and had a very good time. I met some interesting women from across America and heard some stories in private counseling times that would rip your heart right out of your body. Testimonies of irrational thinking, horrific deeds, and terrible behavior done in the name of the Lord and in church environments were a common thread as pastors’ wives, staff members, and teachers shared their stories with us. This was one of the few times they could open up their hearts and talk to another woman because speakers and program participants came into town, conducted the meeting, and flew out again to our own homes. Because they were leaders or wives of leaders in a local church, they could have very few close friends and could not bare their hearts and heartaches for fear of damaging the very ministry they were called to help build.

Take the time to thank your pastor’s wife and children and spend some time with staff members and their families. You would be surprised how many good folks think they would like to invite someone to dinner or for a picnic, but don’t because they think they are simply too busy, too tired, or don’t want to mingle. Listen, friends, these people who serve in these positions are quite human, too. They need fellowship and love just as others do. Take a chance and invite someone in a role of responsibility to join you for some fun. Those invitees will remember you for the rest of their lives and it would please God, too, I think.

At this meeting I mentioned one of the speakers, who was also a pastor’s wife, sharing the program with me walked up to the podium when it was her time to speak and she gripped a small, black leather bound notebook. She held it up for the guests to see, and then asked, “Have you any idea what this book is?” Several audience members made a guess, but no one got it right. BCH_2017-0627-2She held it up again, and said, “I am pleased to tell you this is my grudge book. Every time someone makes me mad, hurts my feelings, harms my family, gossips about my life, tells things that are not true and have no basis for truth, and all of the evil that our church members and friends think up goes into this book by date.” You could literally hear a collective gasp across the room.

We did not know if she were serious or not. Some started to think it was a very good idea, but I knew this woman well and I had no idea she would really do such a thing as to keep a grudge book of wrongs done to her and her family. She went on speaking and toward the end of her presentation, she opened the book and showed it to the guests. There was nothing but blank pages on the inside. She explained that if we were honest, we all had our own version of the little grudge book, and even if we did not write each wrong down, we had them memorized firmly in our mind and heart and poured over them every chance we had. She said that those actions did not honor God and that many of us could not love or be loved well because we were so busy keeping up with our record of wrong.

I fear my friend was right. I have lived long enough to know that we can find a few rare souls around us who think no evil. They are positive, outgoing, helpful people who love God and His creation. Gravitate toward those people. Share their fellowship. Throw away those grudge books and get on with happy living.
[6-26-2017]

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788, or
[email protected].

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2 Responses to “Guarding those little grudge books”

  1. Alisha Cook says:

    One of the things I struggle with most, letting go of wrongs done to me. I pray everyday for God to help take the hurt from my heart and to help me move on. It’s a real struggle! Thanks for the encouragement with this article!!

  2. Cathy Ford Brown says:

    Great article, Brenda. Just what I needed today. Love you!

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