By Shannon Williams
Age and aging are things that seem to get a lot of thought from me these days. Life really goes on regardless of what you would like to happen. My mother is 94 years old and is deep in the depths of dementia or Alzheimer diseases, it is not really important what it is called. One of my dear friends calls it “dropping petals” which I love as it lets you remember that that person was once a beautiful flower, blooming and giving joy to all around, but as every flower does, there comes a time that petals begin to drop and we have to remember the beauty of the flower that once was, but it is still a flower!

My older brother had a birthday this past week and in my daily call to my mother, I told her it was her second son’s birthday. She had some trouble with that concept and finally said, “well tell me about him.” This is the brother who takes care of all her business and sees her at least once a week, if not more. For the past several years she has trusted him to make many major decisions that affect her and all of us. I told her he was turning 68 and was a great family man and took care of all of his sisters. She was happy to know that he was doing well and as she put it, “turned out good.” While she still mostly recalls who we are, I start each call with, Hi Mom, this is Shannon; and when I go see her, I always tell her who I am as I enter her room. I know the day is coming when she will not know us and the thought of that is almost unbearable.

Roles change as we age. I spent a weekend with my 31-year son in California this month. He takes the role of taking care of his mom to heart and does his best to always make sure I am ok. One evening, we went out to eat and I just could not park the car in the small parking garage. He looked over as he saw how stressed I was getting and said mom, just let me park it, the roles are changing. He won’t let me buy all the meals these days. I try not to let him know if I am having struggles as I know he worries, it just does not feel right to have your child worry about you, but he is no longer a child, he is a grown man and takes the role of taking care of his mother very seriously.

On that same trip, I did as I have done for more years that I can recall, which is to buy a People magazine at the airport to read on the plane. Well that was a waste of money, I barely knew of any of the people the stories were about. Magazines are dying if not dead. I have let all of my subscriptions go, I tried to read them online, but it is just not the same for me. The number of magazines for sale at the airport is getting smaller each year. As I was reading that People magazine, I looked around and there was not one person on the plane reading a magazine, very few people were reading a book that they could hold in their hands, most were doing whatever they do on either their phone, laptop or tablet. I have done well with reading from my iPad and listening to books, but I love to hold a good book in my hands and read it. I know that along with a newspaper I can hold, these things will soon be gone. All of these things just make me feel old and I don’t want to feel or be old. It seems the more I think about it, the older I feel. I have a few weddings coming up, so decided to really go shopping at a mall to find a dress or two. I don’t think I have been shopping in a mall in years. Every now and then I have to run into the mall to get an item, but going to shop in a mall was just something I stopped doing years ago. I once could spend all day in a mall. If you went to a new town, you went to the mall and went shopping. The mall did not feel like a place that I used to love to spend a day, I was in and out in less than an hour and with several dresses. But that has all changed, no one to help you and good luck trying to find where you are to pay for any items you managed to find on your own.

We went to another concert, this time to see Three Dog Night at the Golden Nugget in Lake Charles. They have been a band for over 50 years! While there was only one member who had been with them all that time, the other ones had been part of the band for over 20 years. The two main vocals were done by men that were 80 and 75! They still could carry those songs, most of which had a great deal of vocal range. While a couple of times, I was afraid that one of them might fall down, you could not tell by the power in their voices that they were “old”. You could see the light in their eyes as the audience responded to songs they had been listening to for 50 years!

So, age is really an attitude, and some days mine is good and some days I just feel and act old!

If you are dealing with a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer, look up Teepa Snow on YouTube, she really helps with ways to cope and deal with all that it brings.

[SW: Mar-28-2023]