By Brenda Cannon Henley
Witnessing a conversation that became rather heated a few days ago between two mutual friends has given me pause to think. I know both parties and respect and admire each of them and believe in my heart that they are “good people” willing to help anyone in need. In fact, I have seen acts of kindness and personal sacrifice demonstrated by both of them in different times and in different places.

I honestly do not believe either of my friends would intentionally set out to hurt anyone. And, I don’t think the incident I witnessed depicts either of my friends’ true character. But it happened.

So, what caused the ordinary situation to explode in heated anger? And, then I thought, “Dear Lord, how often have I been guilty of such hurtful behavior and not recognized or acknowledged it in my own life?” Today, I ask you to think with me as you read and determine honestly how often you speak out before you think? The conversation I observed had both parties speaking without honestly thinking or praying about the matter.

The old adage often shown as the acronym, “THINK” has been around for a very long time and taught in many different ways, but we tend to lose sight of the truth in our busy lives. In haste, anger, desire to be right, important, admired, large and in charge, and just plain superior can land us in a world of hurt that cannot be easily overcome. We speak before we think, misuse facts, and twist meanings, often believing it will be used to our advantage. It usually won’t.

The wise old acronym is:

T – TRUE. Is what we are saying actually true, or is it conjuncture on our part? Lies, exaggeration, and misinformation hurt others and make the speaker look badly.

H – HELPFUL. Are our words helpful? Helping others with our words is so important and lasting.

I – INSPIRING. Are others inspired by what we are saying? People are greatly inspired to do good, and sometimes ill, by what we say. That is also true in writing or speaking.

N – NECESSARY. Is there really a need for our words to be said? Or, are we just talking to hear ourselves talk?

K – KIND. Is what we are saying kind? Would we want to hear the same words directed to us?

Our words can help or hurt. I do not believe another well worn old adage I have often heard – “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That is simply not true. Words can hurt. They can linger for years in our hearts and minds. An encouraging word can linger and bring joy to our life. Hurtful words can demean and bring pain for years, and in some cases, for an entire lifetime.

I urge each of us to be very careful of our words and to pause and think before they come tumbling out of our mouth, or our pen as we write. Be even more careful before you write and send words.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at 409 781 8788, or
[email protected]

[Jul-19-2022]