IT’S SO HOT IN TEXAS THAT……

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

I saw a coyote chasing a rabbit and they were both walking.

The corn growing in the field is already popped.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have  lunch is to pull one out and add butter.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

A sad West River cowboy once prayed, “I wish it would rain – not so much for me cuz I’ve seen it-but for my  7-year-old.”

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.  before work.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not  having air conditioning.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,”What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

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