By Brenda Cannon Henley
We often see very “broken adults” trying to play big roles in life, giving advice, asking dumb questions, causing hurt and chaos in other lives, and presenting a smug front. Reminds me of an old expression, “Physician, heal thyself.” I heard an adult daughter chide her heartbroken father not long ago because he had made his own decision to go out to eat with an old friend after spending heartbroken hours alone after the death of a much loved spouse. This broken child is way too involved in her good father’s life. In her anger and frustration at the thought of loss of control, she shouted out, “What would Mama think?”
I wrote two articles/stories about this matter, on request. And, I thought about the circumstances. Having heard from many, I honestly think the deceased mother would say, “Go for it. Don’t sit home lonely and sad. Find company in your life and be happy as we were happy.”
My now deceased husband, Ted, whom I adored and admired, had this discussion about whether each of us would seek another relationship should one go first. Ted assured me we should if God so ordained and we felt His peace about a new relationship. I well remember what Ted said as the conversation concluded. “I personally believe the best indicator of a good happy marriage is not frequent words, bit solid actions. If you were truly happy in your past relationship, you’d miss that companionship and sharing. I’d want you to be happy and share your life with a good person.” He was wise like that and I agree with his philosophy.
This very broken adult daughter, not in any meaningful relationship, did not intend to share her daddy with anyone not of her choosing. It is greatly a matter of control and “property ownership.” I think Mama would say if she could, “Grow up. Be responsible. Turn loose. Fix your own brokenness before you cause more.”
[Feb-8-2022]
Posted in 
My mom passed away last April.. I have no problem with my dad seeking friendship/relationship..my youngest son was very close to my mom, and, he is having a harder time accepting that Pa may find someone to share his life with… this article is perfect!