Garden Gone to Hell

By Georgia Osten
The Devil moved into my garden. It’s possessed! I bought some bulbs at WalMart about a month ago. I planted elephant ears by the wall under the stairs. They’re coming up in a totally different place. Did they build a little tunnel underground and decide they would rather come up in a new location? I didn’t plant them there?

Then, I decided to plant some lilies on the other side of the stairs by the other old timers. What began coming up looked like nut grass, but then it began to grow huge. The leaves resembled the old timers so I was somewhat satisfied. Something sprouted out of the top … NOT A LILY!?! Something with three little bristles on top. “Horns,” I would imagine.

Well, nothing would do, these uninvited guests would need to go. I began by watering them to soften them up so I could yank the nasty interlopers out of the ground. Some of them came away, clean as a whistle, no roots! Others came along with some roots and a lot of viney trailing stuff, no doubt The Spreaders. I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen the last of them.

As my back began to ache, I wished I had called Jorge. I really like Jorge, he’s a swell guy. As my husband digs “Jorge will charge $200 and my wife will pay him $300.” Okay, okay, this is the reason Jorge keeps coming back when I call. What a swell guy!

I’ll have to admit, I was a bit anxious out there ankle deep in sweet potato vine. I would reach down in there to grab the dollar grass and whatever else the Devil hid from sight. Hoping there were no snakes and/or spiders.

The turtles love this garden with all the soft soil I’ve provided. They leave their little holes filled with eggs. I planted two plumerias about a week ago. Well, wouldn’t you know, these mama turtles found the soft dirt and laid eggs right at the base of the plumerias. Of course, a skunk or racoon found them and now the plumerias are lying on the ground!

These two pots were thick with violets, I had to take a pick/spade to get them loose so I could plant these periwinkles instead. Hopefully, the turtles won’t climb into the pots to bury their eggs?? It wouldn’t be so bad if these mama’s were good parents. They simply lay and leave. Do you think they recognize the young’uns when they hatch and make it back to the slough? I can just hear these little guys, “hey Mama, remember me?” “You left me in the neighbor’s garden in the soft dirt by the plumeria tree.”

Sounds like I spent way too much time in the garden today. I think a nap is in order.

[GO: May-30-2023]

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One Response to “Garden Gone to Hell”

  1. LindaC Elissalde says:

    Love it, Georgia!

    You “covered the ground” well on this subject. Gardening along the Gulf Coast is rather challenging. There are quite a lot of enemies coming after plants.. Our number one nemesis is the state bird.. Probably best to NOT kill a Mockingbird in Texas.

    I wish you the best of luck.
    Linda C E

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