By Brenda Cannon Henley
One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will become someone else’s survival guide.
“Some having compassion make a difference.” (Jude 22)
Having been asked twice in the past few days why God allows or permits His children to hurt or be in situations that are harmful, I have been giving the matter some thought. In all honesty we must say that we get ourselves in many of these life changing places by our own lack of judgment, sheer will to have some one or some thing God never gave us, and our own hardheaded stubbornness of nature.

If we clearly look at the times in our lives when our hearts were truly broken, our mind and spirit sagging, and our physical strength spent, we can find and realize what the purpose was for the trial.

In my own life, I have realized I am a “fixer” of people, or at least I operate as though I am. I know in my heart I really cannot “fix” anyone. That is God work. Only He can mend broken spirits, hurt hearts, and wrecked relationships.

But how tempting as a woman to reach out and think, “I see what is wrong. He is just misunderstood. He really isn’t bad deep down. He just needs a little help, given in love, honesty, and genuine concern. I can help him,” and with that declaration, we plunge in, heart first, in a relationship God never wanted us to have.

And I would be untruthful if I said some of the time spent together wasn’t good. Maybe we laughed, learned, and looked ahead to the future. But when the relationship, job, career, family dynamic, or other areas of life went sour, it did it on a roller coaster bound for Hell and it happened as though we had never even considered the damage that could happen or the people that could suffer.

I must add that it can be the male member of the two that sees himself as the super power and fixer of the issues. However, in my experience, it is more often the woman who is prone to nurturing, thinking, and actively involved in making things right for as many as she can.

So, why do we hurt? There are many solid reasons, but I will list only three here. I believe God allows us to hurt in this life to learn to DEPEND on Him. There are some things we will face that only He can fix or make better. When we do all we can do or think, we turn to Him and turn the matter over to Him. That is rather backward. We should turn to Him first and foremost.

The second reason we hurt is so that we can ably DEMONSTRATE His vast resources, His great love, and His wise provision. The sharing of our story may just be the motivation someone else needs to keep going and to find peace and safety.

The third reason that came to my mind is our pure DELIGHT when things do turn around and we learn to live by Bible principles and the Word of God. People are helped and lives are righted.

You might ask why I feel so strongly about hurting hearts. I will answer quickly – “Because I have had one.” After my husband died, I was adrift. I met a wonderful gentleman who had lost his wife to a terrible disease less than a month after Ted’s death. I felt we had so much in common, and he adored me. Then, the little red flags started popping out and more and more I (and others) found truth that could not be denied.

Without detail, there had been two marriages with infidelity with many partners, three additional children he had never claimed, a family dynamic that is so broken only God can fix it, and a lengthy chain of broken hearts and lying living. He is a wonderful actor and very proud of his character description as the “playa” of all time. He has been seeing seven to eight different women at any given time.

I can now help women that have fallen into a camp such as this one.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at 409 781 8788, or
[email protected]

[8-26-2019]