By Brenda Cannon Henley
“Hear ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.” (Proverbs 4:1)
“A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.” (Proverbs 10:1)

I always struggle with a good Father’s Day column wanting to write something profound and meaningful for this special day that I think is often overlooked by so many. I heard this week that Father’s Day is the single busiest day for collect calls home. It seems that children, young and old, have no hesitancy in calling to say “Happy Father’s Day” on dad’s dime. That just doesn’t seem right to me, nor does it show a lot of love and concern for the man that is called father. Let me state clearly here in the first paragraph that you may not be the biological father of the son or daughter in your home, but if you fill that role with love and dignity, then, our hats are off to you on this special day set aside to honor you.

Often, in today’s generation, the dominant male role is played by grandfather, uncle, another relative, and in some cases, a good friend or youth group leader, teacher, or sports coach. When my own children were small, I read a book that I have never forgotten, “Building boys is better than mending men,” and the thoughts in that volume seem more relevant today than they did some thirty years ago now. So many young men seem to come up in today’s world pretty much on their own and without the influence of a godly man in their life. That is a sad commentary on our homes and families.

In a completely unscientific survey prior to writing this column, I asked a group of men, ages ranging from 18 to more than 70 a couple of simple questions, and I was awestruck at the answers I received. “What did your dad teach you that has made a real difference in your life?” And, I followed that question with, “What do you wish your dad had taught you that he did not?” Some of the dozen interviewed answered quickly while others mulled over their answers for a while. One answered right away, “My dad taught me how to work and how to work hard.” Another young man said, “My dad said that money is tough to come by and easy to spend, so be cautious with your finances.” (This young man has a savings account in which he has a lot of pride). One said, “I wish my dad had taken the time to teach me about cars; how they run, how to repair them, what to look for when buying one.”

Some of the answers were very simple and about little things in life. Others were far reaching and concerned complicated matters. You might want to try the survey on your own with a group of folks you will see over this coming weekend.

Here are some suggestions gleaned from this little experiment for Father’s Day 2013:

1. Every dad should teach his kid how to throw a ball properly. No young man wants to be embarrassed in front of his peers on a sports field.
2. Every dad should see that his son knows how to tie a tie in the right way.
3. Boys (and girls) need to see the importance of willpower and saying “no” to dangerous and bad things. (This father referenced drugs and alcohol).
4. How to treat a lady came up more than once. The word, “respect” was mentioned by several.
5. One man said every boy (and girl for that matter) should know how to build something. Put a hammer and a saw in their hands early and watch that pride grow as they construct something with their own hands.
6. The value of trust and the fact that it is earned and not given freely.
7. The importance of hard work. If an employer pays you for eight hours of work, then work that eight hours and more if necessary. Don’t be lazy and slothful.
8. Competition will always be present. Learn to enjoy it early on in life.
9. Find the opportunities waiting for you. They may come dressed in working clothes.
10. Discover who you are, and if you don’t like what you see, change it.
11. Keep your word about everything. Your word is your bond. Be honest.
12. Don’t live your life based on excuses. Reasons are different than excuses.
13. Treat animals with respect.
14. Learn to appreciate discipline or right training. (Several of the men I spoke with thought their dads were tough as nails growing up, but now that they are adults themselves, they have come to appreciate the hard things that their dads taught them).
15. Always give more than is expected of you.

Happy Father’s Day 2013 to all of our dads and those that find themselves in that role in life.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at [email protected].

Contact Brenda Cannon Henley:
[contact-form-7 404 "Not Found"]