By Brenda Cannon Henley
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” – Bob Marley
Waiting for the rain to let up here in our area, I thought I had timed my much needed trip to the grocery store well enough, but just as I started to get out of my car, the heavens opened up yet again. I made it into the busy aisles, purchased what I needed, and hurried out of the door. What I witnessed on my way out of the store literally turned my stomach, and I have not been able to free my mind from the images I registered.

Watching for cars and people, I saw a young couple with two children get out of a very big truck and head for the store I had just exited. The mother was carrying one small child in her arms and a toddler was clinging to her leg as they made their way toward me. I couldn’t help but notice that she appeared to be crying and her eyes and face were red. The healthy looking father appeared to be fit and in good health. They were obviously arguing. I don’t know if he did not want to go to the store, if he did not want to spend money on food they needed, or if it were something else all together.

The argument seemed to escalate the nearer they got to the door. Just as she stepped up onto the curb, still carrying her child, the man became seemingly angrier and pushed her fairly hard about the shoulder from the back. She stumbled, but righted herself before falling onto the pavement. She turned and gave him one of the most pitiful looks I have ever seen exchanged between human beings, but the truly sad part of the matter was that the child holding onto her leg immediately cowered and seemed to dodge to the other side of the woman thinking he would be hit or hurt next.

My first gut instinct was to step between the two adults and guard the child, but I knew I would likely be arrested. It would have been my pleasure to punch the man good and hard in the stomach or slap his face. There was no doubt in any of the witnesses’ minds that he pushed her intentionally and he waited until she was about to step up on the curb.

Let me state right away that I realize that there are men and women abusers, male and female bullies, and certainly I don’t know what precipitated this exchange. But from the actions of the young child, I would bet my best Texas boots that it wasn’t the first time this has happened and without help, or change, it won’t be the last. I smiled at the woman hoping to give her encouragement and an offer of help if she wanted it, but she quickly walked into the store. He followed sullenly. What kind of life is this to live?

The thing that broke my heart is that these children may likely grow up to think this behavior is normal and that fathers are supposed to treat mothers this way not only in private, but in public. The little boy was frightened so much that he fled to the other side of him mom, so he definitely knew what might be coming his way. Why do people act like this? Is it their home training, or lack thereof? Are financial pressures so intense that they are simply waiting to explode? Are these folks so unhappy that they want to take it out on whoever is in their path? And, what on earth must go on behind closed doors if he did this in full view of dozens of people? Someone has suggested drugs or alcohol may have played a part, and that may be correct. If so, it makes the scene on the sidewalk more frightening to me.

Folks, life is short and times are tough for many people. Our children will follow in our footsteps. What are we modeling for them as everyday behavior?

I had a dear lady confide in my last week that what her friends saw of her home life in public was absolutely nothing like the family experienced in the confines of their house. She said her husband of several years appeared calm, relaxed, fun, easygoing, and kind to strangers, but that he was hell on wheels at home. She said that the tiniest thing in the household could set him off for days and that he ranted, raved, criticized, and choked nearly all of the fun from their lives. Her last statement stuck with me. She said, “I know you will find this hard to believe, but it is though a light switch is thrown when we go into our house. He becomes a different person and begins to yell and scream and find fault. The children and I just try to stay away from him as much as possible and we are glad for the hours he works.” I might add here that I have seen this behavior and worse from those who attend church on a regular basis. God cannot be pleased with anyone acting in this manner.

“Be ye kind one to another…” (Ephesians 4:32)

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