By Shannon Williams

“I see skies of blue, And clouds of white
The bright blessed day, The dark sacred night
And I think to myself, What a wonderful world”Ok, now that I have you all humming that wonderful song, I have to tell you about that song and this weekend. My husband and I flew to Lubbock, Texas to be part of the wedding festivities for my oldest nephew, the last of my parents’ grandchildren to marry. My parents had 5 children and we only produced 4 grandchildren, one of which died at age 4, so we really cherish all three of them! Four of my siblings would be in attendance and the big question of the weekend was could we get my 94-year-old mother to the wedding. She suffers from either dementia or Alzheimer’s, does not really matter what you call it, it is present and a fact of our life’s these days. I describe it as “dropping petals”. She was always a beautiful flower and loved to garden so it is fitting to describe her these days, as some days, there are lots of petals dropped and we have to remember the beauty that has been lost. She does not go out much and recently broke her foot and has been in a boot, so we just did not know if she would want to go.

My sisters and I made plans, it was a team effort. One brought a dress, I brought the shawl and found knee high hose for her to wear. We had a plan for the shower and her hair. We sometimes overwhelmed her when we are all together, so we limited how many of us went at any one time. We were telling her what was going to happen and she told us she was not going, but ten minutes later, she wanted to know what she was going to wear and did she send a gift. She sometimes is able to still go to Mass, but we do her shower the day before and have her wear a hat, as shower, hair fixed and going out on the same day is usually too much.

The wedding was also in the early evening and my mother “sundown’s” badly. Sundowning is a term to describe what happens with the elderly in the late afternoons and early evenings when they get restlessness, agitation, irritability or confused. I, of course was the nervous Nellie and just was so worried about it all, if she would get scared or upset being around everyone and how hard it would be on her. My sisters had a little more faith than I did, thank God. The bride’s mother is in a nursing home, so could not be present, so I spent most of the day of the wedding running errands and do whatever the bride needed, so my two sisters were in charge of getting mom ready. They were texting me along the way. I had found a parking spot for them to use and had made sure there were ramps everywhere she needed to go to attend.

We were down to go time and she was ready to go!! They got there before I did and when I walked in she was greeting everyone and asking them “who are you” and replying “nice to meet you.“ I walked in and leaned down to hug her and she asked “who are you?” I told Mom, its Shannon, but I have a dress on and make up with my hair fixed so I don’t look like myself, we both got a big laugh. Everyone loved coming up and talking to her and she loved seeing everyone. We did our best to explain who everyone was, but you could tell she remembered very few of them. We were all seated, and the music began to play as people were walking up the aisle. I heard the first notes of “what a wonderful world” and looked at my mother. She looked up and a smile came across her face, she turned to me and my younger sister and said, “it’s the song!” There was such a smile on her face. My parents loved to cruise and spent the better part of 20 years traveling on a cruise line several times per year. I was very lucky to get to go at least once a year! The cruise line used, “What a Wonderful World” as their sail away song, so Mother had heard it hundreds of times. She just was smiling ear to ear and you could tell good memories were coming back. Tears began to fill my eyes and they really never stopped. About halfway through the ceremony she gave my nephew one of that little kid, half hand waves, just like little kids do when they see someone they know! My nephew did not miss a beat and gave her one right back, more tears! I knew she knew what it was all about and that the groom was part of her world.

My hubby took over the job of pushing mom’s wheelchair and she asked me several times, “who is this cowboy helping me?” I explained it was my husband and she thanked me for sharing my date and told me how handsome he was. Seeing Paul with my mother and them laughing filled my heart with joy and again the tears. I don’t wear makeup very often at the beach, but remembered to use waterproof eye makeup and it was a good thing, as it got a work out! She was getting a little restless waiting on the bride and groom to come to the reception and we told her only about 15 minutes more. She announced to the table that we all needed to stay 15 minutes more and no one was to leave and be rude!! She soon said her goodbyes and her cowboy wheeled her out to the car. Everyone was just thrilled at her presence at the wedding and she was just so damn cute.

The next morning, she slept until almost noon and wanted to know why she was so tired. We explained she had attended Tom’s wedding and she had no memory of it at all. We had to show her the pictures to show her she had indeed gone. She was very proud of herself for going, but said, that would be her last wedding! The circle of life is a tough one and watching parents age is the hardest thing and often heartbreaking. I am the one who makes sure there is flowers on my Dads grave, so before I left town, I put an arrangement of sunflowers on his grave and told him I was doing my best to take care of his “poochie” (his nickname for my mother). I hope he is proud of both his children and grandchildren. Go hug your parents, call them more often, one day you won’t be able to. I have included a picture of Mom and her Cowboy and my mom and her three daughters. I hope I look as good as her at 94 !

[SW: Jun-6-2023]