By Brenda Cannon Henley
We first must look again at how people who see themselves as victims tend to think. They constantly blame others for situations they have created or contributed to in their life. Failing or being unwilling to take responsibility is a major hangup. They ascribe negative intentions to every action of others acting with paranoia about even the smallest incident or situation. A victim believes that all other people are generally luckier in life and happier with what they have they they will ever be. The “poor me” attitude gets old really quickly for those who must be around this type of individual.

A person living life with a victim mentality gains short-term pleasure from feeling sorry for oneself. They seek pity from others by telling exaggerated stories about the bad deeds of others or declare ways in which they have been “wronged.” They usually also imagine a “ganged up” effect by others. In other words, everyone they know is against them and these folks have all aligned against the victim. In many cases, the “supposed wrong doers” have never even discussed the victim nor do they even know each other. Certainly, the victim person is not that important as to be the center most object in a busy person’s life.

People with victim mentality go to great lengths to prove their imagined stories. They can develop convincing and plausible sounding arguments that helps to bolster their victim status. “Negative” is the key operating word and the glass is always half or more empty rather than full. There is usually never enough money and they often complain or mimic health problems to get further attention. They are overly defensive and complain about everything in their life. Creating drama and unnecessary conflict are central to their being. It is all about them. Everyone that is not openly for them is certainly against them and on the bad side. Often stubborn beyond belief, they tend to reject sound advice, suggestions, or constructive criticism, and are unable to implement good ideas.

Many people controlled by victim mentality face unemployment, low-paying or unsatisfactory work conditions, although they have some good skills that could be used if they would risk working for others or in a corporate setting. The Bibles teaches that if a man (or woman) is healthy, they should work. It brings pride to the life and it provides an income by which to live. “…If any would not work, neither should he eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10) They often are unattractive and unkempt because they are so wrapped up in their thinking that they simply do not take care of their bodies. They also are often addicted to alcohol or drugs as means of escape from their troubles and do not mesh well with others. Their dependencies cause their lives to spiral further downward.

(published 9/30/2014)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at
[email protected].

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