By Brenda Cannon Henley
Ted and I have watched more television and listened to more music in the last month than ever before in our decade long history. It is probably because we have been inside the house more and not in the car (except when necessary to get to doctor’s and hospital appointments), in the boat fishing, or on the beach. He’s not feeling well and we are awaiting the beginning of the 36-treatment chemotherapy and radiation treatments for his recently diagnosed cancer. We find some hope in the fact that he has been selected to participate in an important clinical trial and we are trusting God that this will help him beat this far-reaching disease that we had no idea he had. Surgery for him just now is not an option. The cancer has overtaken too much territory.

At any rate, he was clicking through the channels the other night and found a recorded tribute to the legendary musical artist, Carole King. She was one of the recipients of the Kennedy Center Honors and Ted recognized immediately one of the songs that was being sung and played in the tribute to her talent. I said, “Well, let’s watch this and then we will go on to what you had been looking for at the time.” Good decision.

I had forgotten just how many wonderful songs King had written over the years and how many other artists had recorded her work. My all time favorite is “You’ve Got a Friend,” that she wrote in 1971. The hit song was included in her album Tapestry and James Taylor knocked it out of the park in his album Mud Slide Slim. His version reached No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts and went to No. 4 on the UK Singles Charts. It has been sung by countless other artists as singles, duos, and group efforts. The song won a Grammy for Taylor as Best Male Pop Vocal and King as Song of the Year.

I had been giving some thought to the subject of friendship since our own personal tragedy started happening so suddenly on February 18 when Ted became choked eating a great meal on the Bolivar Peninsula. Some friends know just what to do and when to do it and I can testify to the fact and importance of how much each outreach is appreciated. Some of my friends can just sense when I need a telephone call or a word of encouragement. They might not know exactly what to say, but the fact that they called means so much.

Others figure out that you are hurting and that you don’t even know how to express it to yourself, much less to them. Those are the ones that just come by and sit for a spell and talk or listen. Some scary, dark hours have been brightened by a pop in visit or a late night call to say hello. True friendship is for all seasons, winter, spring, summer, or fall, just as King wrote in her song. The Bible verifies that truth in Proverbs 17:17 — “A friend loves at all times and a brother (or sister) is born for adversity.” Small gifts and treasures have helped us get through these scary days and nights.

There is also an admonition found in Proverbs 18:24 — “A man (or woman) that hath friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” My children have commented several times about the number of friends Ted has here in this area, and because of his work, all across the great state of Texas, and around the world. He has enjoyed greetings from many of his former students, the teachers he worked with, police officers and detectives, and his close friend in Austria who was a young student when he came to Ted in Austin. Ted took this young man into his home and heart and has been as proud of his many accomplishments as his own father in Austria. The young man studied, applied himself, followed Ted’s advice in many matters, and now serves as president and CEO of several large global companies. He wants Ted to move to Austria and allow him to take care of him and help get well.

A wise old preacher friend told me one time when he had faced sad circumstances in his own life that when you get to a place of real need, you can generally count your true friends on one hand. I thank God for all of our acquaintances, our dear family members, and those true friends who have shone forth like pure gold. Because of our jobs and our living in several different places, we have been blessed to have more than the five my friend mentioned and we value each of you more than you can know.

Ted and I have vowed to be the best friends we can be to those we love. I have never truly known until now the exceptional value of faithful, fierce, and unfettered friendship. Don’t the words Carole King penned ring a bell with you?

“You’ve Got A Friend”
When you’re down in troubles
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I’ll be there
Yes I will
You’ve got a friend.

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at your door.

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
Ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend?

When people can be so cold
They’ll hurt you and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don’t you let them
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788 or at
[email protected].

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