By Brenda Cannon Henley
If one has written for any number of years for the general public, and touched on many topics, it becomes rather normal to expect criticism from time to time. Some readers seem to be just spoiling for a fight, and I have come to believe they are not even really aggravated with a particular writing or point being taken. They are just frustrated and are looking for something about which to gripe and complain.

I have been blessed over the five decades in which I have been writing to never have had many confrontations. Only twice in my career have I had a reader call my editor to complain about something, and both times, the matter worked out and was resolved amicably.

With this being written, I am not sure I have ever seen a time of such judgment – People making assumptions and half informed statements – Speaking to matters about which they know little to nothing. And, believe me, I am not delving into the world of heated politics here.

A woman who happens to be in one of my Facebook groups took out after me this week. I know her name and barely might recognize her profile photo if I chanced to see it. I certainly would not call her my friend and I have never spent any time with her. She has written a couple of things that seemed a little off the wall, and not well thought out, but nothing I paid much attention to or actually cared about enough to get involved.

Matthew 7:1-2 – “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

James 2:13 – “For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.”

Romans 14:12-13 – “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.”

I found myself glancing through incoming messages on my news feed and I literally said out loud, “Whoa! She must have hit my name by mistake.” I had directed nothing to her, nor had I tagged her in a post. The first thing I spotted was my name (all three of them) spelled out, and then she belted me a good one, as my precious Mama Cole would say.

She jumped all over me verbally for no reason. I read her words three different times trying to register what she meant. The jest of her comments had to do with people believing crazy politicians and thinking everything they said was the Gospel truth, how could I be so ignorant, and unlearned, and how could I believe what I did.

The first problem is she has no idea what I believe. I had directed nothing toward her. I had not asked her to consider or believe anything I do believe. I had not directed her toward any writing.

She was judging me with no basis. She was assuming she knew what I knew or believed.

I typed out a terse and curt reply and had my say. I read what I had written and was not proud of myself, although I will admit it felt good for the moment to set the wrongs right. But, I remembered something an old pastor told me when I first started out in ministry. “If nothing is truly helped about giving an answer, and it doesn’t change anything, then why do it?”

Another wise old preacher taught me to sleep on a matter before giving an answer. I have avoided several instances of an angry or unnecessary reply, and causing strife, by simply ignoring slights or foolish words. In a day or two, the matter had passed from my mind and heart. Things often seem worse when we are first shocked or hurt by hearing them.

People are so quick to judge others these days. If we could only learn to judge others using the same yardsticks by which we judge ourselves, but we seldom do that.

Romans 14:1 – “But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.”

Another great and grievous error in judging others is that we often, in our haste and anger, tend to share that judgment with others, where it be truthful or not. That gossip and ill will gets out there in the community, and now with social media, can spread like wildfire. Left unchecked or uncorrected, a man or woman’s reputation can be hurt by something that likely wasn’t true with which to start.

Be conscious about the vast dangers of jumping to conclusions and judging others. I have vowed in this coming year to be less quick to judge and even slower to share my opinion about others.

When someone really aggravates me, I have a plan to be quiet, consider the information carefully, and try to think of three good things about the individual for which I can be grateful. It is amazing how quickly the unhappiness and ill spirit can dissipate as I consider the good qualities in the friend or acquaintance.

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788, or
[email protected]

[Dec-28-2021]