By Brenda Cannon Henley
Just boarded a flight that will take me home to Texas with DeAnna Stancil Davis. How we thank God for her job at the airline. First class all the way. DeAnna has been an airline employee for over a decade and thank God, her mom flies free anywhere in the world. That is a blessing from American Airlines, and especially so, in times of grief or illness when time is of the essence in getting to a destination.

(Author’s Note – I wrote this column while flying home from Amelia Island and Fernandina Beach, Florida, where I had just said my final earthly goodbye to my brother, the one nearest me in age, and a man I admired and loved very much.)

I leave my 66-year-old brother’s earthly body in the funeral home in Fernandina Beach for military burial tomorrow in the Jacksonville National Cemetery with full military honors. He was a good man, and I miss him terribly. We were very close for many years. It hurts me to see his children grieve and to observe my brother and sister as we realize our loss. This is also the one-year anniversary of my sweet husband Ted’s death and I have been thinking a lot about that last week.

Dr. John F. Davis served his country proudly in Vietnam and made several rank advancements while in the United States Army. He was a very successful salesman for a large company in the Atlanta area and retired to Florida about five years ago to fish to his heart’s content and to enjoy the natural beauty of the area. His home and the beaches and rivers are picture postcard lovely.

My baby sister, Paula Bonner, and I drove to Atlanta one month before his death and spent a wonderful day with Johnny. As sick as he was, he insisted on getting in his car and showing us some of the lovely sights. He wanted us to see the beautiful beachside homes of authors Stephen King and John Grisham. Although he wasn’t eating much at all, he also insisted on us eating at Cedar River where we had fresh shrimp and sweet potatoes, some of the establishment’s specialties. We laughed and talked about old times, fun things, and some not so fun as well. He had us driven by the funeral he had chosen and I had a private time with him before leaving.

I am an optimist by nature and prayed so hard for him to be well on earth again. It was not God’s plan and I got the dreaded call on Wednesday that he was gone. My daughter began to make preparations for a rushed trip to Florida for us to be with family. My son, who is a pastor in Florida, called and talked very seriously with me. He said, “Mom, I have just read an article about grief. I know you have had a year of grieving the loss of your husband, but I am not sure you are prepared to lose a sibling.” He went on to tell me that the writer concluded it was most difficult to lose a brother or sister that you had grown up with over the years and shared so many different emotions an experiences. I have found this writer to be correct. I had no idea how I would feel and I have faced death on many occasions because of my working with a large church for many years.

Not meaning to be unkind, but when I read or hear about petty differences, spats between folks, and all the “life did not treat me fairly” quips over some trivial matter, I want to say, “Suck it up, Buttercup.” Let’s save our strength and energy for things that really matter. Life IS short. Enjoy the ride. I fail to comprehend how folks without Christ face the tough issues. The hope and peace in my heart this early, dark morning come from knowing we will all be together again one bright, happy day if we’ve put our faith in Him.

As we often do, we engage in small talk with the person seated next to us on the plane. A nice gentleman from Tampa/St. Petersburg was my seatmate. He greeted me nicely and began to chat asking the normal questions. I told him I was on my way home from my brother’s funeral and that it had been a tough weekend. He looked almost startled and tears formed in his eyes. He said, “Really?” And I said, “Yes.” He then told me his story. He was on his way to Houston to reconnect with his two brothers whom he had not seen in over seven years. He told me of an insignificant spat that had happened in their family and they ended up on different sides of the matter. He said it had been important to him to try to make amends and get things right before one or the other of them died or became too ill to communicate. I congratulated him on his wisdom and assured him of my prayers.

Folks, don’t let little things keep you from the big things. I have received so much communication since I first mentioned this, and I am amazed from whence it has come. So many people that we know and love have petty differences with others, and in the grand scheme of things, they don’t even matter. Be the first to say, “I am sorry,” and you may be totally amazed at what awaits you

Thank you to each of my friends and relatives that have been so kind to me and to my family during the month of August.

(This article published 8/17/2015)

Brenda Cannon Henley can be reached at (409) 781-8788, at
[email protected], or by using the contact form below.

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